A Sense of greed in children
What to do with a child’s greed? How do parents know when on the court, once again, the baby refused to share the machine, or scoop with a friend in the sandbox.
Always so obedient and docile boy, or affectionate girl, suddenly stomp your feet, hiding the machine, or a favorite doll behind his back and run away. The first reaction of the parents, in most cases, it’s a shame. Still, in their family is growing MEANIE! Mom asks, persuades, and often just power snatches kid a treasured toy, and gives the child who demanded her. Correctly enters the mother? Because the child in 2 -3 years always egomaniac, and talk about greed, as the trait in this age it is still very early. For the baby, in the first place – he himself, and all the other people, only an addition. A significant role in the prioritization of play and the parents. The child often is the center around which revolves the life of all other family members. And how can you demand from him willingly and unquestioningly to give his toy to another child?
In addition, at this age, children are very sensitive to parting with their belongings. Toy for baby, exactly the same thing for personal use, as for my mother, for example, lipstick or favorite sunglasses. You do not give your glasses a stranger, or even a familiar girl who will say that the glasses she loved, and she would like that You gave them to her. Of course not! This is just nonsense! So why do we require that our kids, share the most valuable thing they have at this point is: your favorite machine, or a new case?
But back to the situation where the mother took the child a toy, and gave it to another kid. From the point of view of psychology, there is some understandable reluctance of the child to give his property. And here is the mother, the dearest and closest person in the world – forcibly takes the toy and gives it to another boy. Let’s for a moment think, what to feel at this point 2 or 3 year old child? Offense? Pain? Anger? Disappointment? Insecurities? The uncertainty in the mother? Or own helplessness? Probably, all these feelings at once. My mother gave my machine Misha, so she likes him more than me? Why? Than Misha better than me? Allowing, time after time, the conflict in this way, the mother is at risk to raise your boy to be insecure, weak-willed person, without inner core.
What we adults usually called greed, for the baby is just another step in the difficult process of learning about the world and themselves in this world. In the lexicon of the baby appears the word “MINE”!
In addition, thus, the child is able to “feel” beyond the limits – therefore, greed sometimes manifests itself in the taking away of toys and other children.
If the child is very small, the best option would be just to distract him. Show a passing car, flying bird, etc. When attention is switched, try to captivate your baby different game. Another option is to offer to swap. Bright and colorful describe to the child what you will be interested to play football Natalini ball, or to build a garage for Colin dump truck, and the guys at this time let them play your molds.
When greedy starts already quite conscious lot, which distract the machine, or flying the bird has not come out, you can try this option. Agree with the moms who walk with you during walks, at the site, as a “common place”, all the toys on time become too common. Then, explain this rule to the kids. While walking, it does not matter which toy belongs to who. One rule – every kid can take any toy, which at the moment nobody plays. That is not to take another child from the hands of the toy, even if it belongs to you. You need to either wait until this toy, or you can take another one. As practice shows, the children quickly grasp the rules, and conflict in teams, in which the games the children were organized in a similar way, almost never happens.
When my three year old son playing on the Playground, trying to take another child’s shovel, I just once again explained to him this simple rule and insisted on his execution. If the child refused to perform – please go home. At this, all of our conflicts are usually exhausted.
Plays an important role and your personal example. For example, it appears the first strawberries. Immediately her very little – only 7-8 berries, but you divide the berries equally among all members of the family. Another thing that mom and dad, eating the berry, you can scorch grimassi and say that are full and no longer want. But the point is that initially, everyone got the same amount of berries.
Another tip. Going outside, leave the volume the most expensive and favorite toys. Carry only what, in principle, would be a pity not to give up, the toys that are already sick, or do not love the baby. Perhaps a reaction to the fact that some of the children will take time to roll unloved machine, will be less violent, and at successful coincidence of circumstances, it never will.
Four to five years, children begin to understand that playing together is much more fun and interesting than alone. While playing together, the children learn to share toys with each other. Only in this case, they will share from the heart, not by force, which is very important!
And anyway, my deep conviction that these greedy, often grow out of those children who was always forced to share.