The psychology of a happy life
You are going to marry. Re. You even forgot about the previous negative experience, but still there is one “but”. Then you were a free woman, and now you first mom. Or is it in the second. How to behave, what to tell the child what to call the new family member? That’s about it, now will be discussed.
Of course, the new composition of your family is and worries, and problems. But they have solutions. So, look:
Nothing prevents you to remain a good mother and again to feel loved by a woman and wife. Baby needs a happy mom. The only thing you should not do is to rush headlong into the maelstrom of a new marriage. Remember, the failed your previous relationship, analyze the most frequent quarrels. Maybe you fought mainly because your irregular working hours? Or a new Beau – a philanderer, and the ex-husband? Would it then good your new life? Rate chosen objectively. Whether he is ready for life together, does all the responsibility? And only answering positively to all the questions, tell your child about the changes in your family.
You choose the satellite itself, but not for Chad daddy. And if it came to Dating with a child, then the main exam, the man has already passed! But do not hold the regular examination of candidates. It is the child’s stress. Kindly requested to solve the issue of a separate room for the child, if he still slept with you. Small children are hard to tolerate the move into a single bed.
As a rule, children up to 3 years and 7 years, better get used to a new person. But the kids from 3 to 7 years – special category. They believe that “my mother and no one else”! But it is not necessary to postpone the relationship and wait until the child grows up. Consider your position and argue it in front of the baby. Remember, at this age the child perceives himself to be quite an adult, talk to him from this position. For example: “You yourself decide who you should be friends, so she chooses”.
You have to appreciate a man with two sides – husband and father. And in any case do not hide from him the presence of children. If the elect will be blown away by the wind, thank God – what is he dad? Not necessary to arrange future stepfather outdoor exam. Go randomly to a children’s store or ask for advice in choosing a gift for the baby.
If you communicate regularly with the child’s father, there is no need to change up the routine meetings. The only thing I’d be careful, though, is credibility. Do not compare one with another in the presence of a child, avoid criticisms. Talk about the same topic with the father of the child, to avoid misunderstandings in the future. The conflicts of adults can cause internal discomfort of the child.
How to call?
You should not force the child, and Yes man new status, and with it meaningful “dad”. The family becomes stronger.
You can get out of the situation. Man pose child by name. And he’ll be the judge, “dad” to him or not. The more real dad if the child already has, only he doesn’t live with you. Of course, you will fall on a number of issues. For example, “Mom, is that my new daddy?” or “And he was like who?!”. Think about the answers in advance, so it doesn’t look like you do not know. For you “educational function” can be done by children and grandmothers in the yard, so the conversation is better to start first.
At once or gradually? Ideal if the child starts to ask about it. For example: “Mom, when Ivan would come again?”, “Let him stay, and in the morning play with me”. Such questions mean that the baby is bored and is ready in principle to adopt a new family member.
If this has not happened, do not worry. Give her to the man and the child time to communicate, leave one in the room, send to the store or to the cinema. Only through joint activity formed a friendship and trust. And soon everything will fall into place.
This is important:
Most likely, you will have to overcome the jealousy, and perhaps even double: one from the baby and a new husband. Try to involve them in joint activities (walk, prepare dinner, etc.); so they will realize that equally important to you.